Friendship Advice from Anna²

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by Anna Kleczek & Anna Jones

How do you deal with losing friendships throughout high school?

Well, a big part of high school is figuring out who you really are and finding yourself along with finding your true friends. We know it might be hard, but everyone goes through friendships that aren’t worth their time and although it may be upsetting, it will be worth it in the long run. If you really believe that a friendship is going downhill, here are a few things that you should evaluate:

  • Trust: If you have experienced a lack of trust between yourself and someone you consider a friend, then you should confront them about it. Being loyal and trustworthy is something that is needed in all friendships, so if someone you’re close to can’t be confided in, then it might be possible that you shouldn’t be sharing anything personal with them.
  • Honesty: Lying is a problem that can’t be ignored in any relationship, so if you notice that any of your friends are lying or keeping things from you that you believe could be important– do something about it. Ask your other friends if they know anything about it of if they’re hearing different versions of stories that your friend is telling. You should never have to think twice about something that a friend tells you.
  • Respect: This is an obvious make or break factor when it comes to friendship; without a mutual respect, there’s no reason to be friends with someone. If you feel like a friend is using you for something or doesn’t truly give you the respect that you think you deserve, they probably aren’t worth your time. Try to talk it out and gain an understanding with each other, because in order to have trust and an honest relationship, everyone involved should respect each other.

How do you determine if a friendship is positive or negative?:

If you’re feeling skeptical about a relationship and you want clarification of whether it is positive or negative, you should weigh out the pros and cons. For example, if you notice a difference in your personality and overall self and it is a positive difference, then you should keep your friends. If you see a negative change in yourself and you know that you’re doing things that you aren’t comfortable with or that you’ve been pressured into, it would probably be a good idea to try and cut the ties with those friends. Someone who you consider a “friend” would never try and push you to do something that you’re not okay with. If that happens, then they aren’t worth keeping around. You should only surround yourself with positive attitudes and influences, or else you’re ultimately wasting your time by getting close with people who are only leading you down a potentially dangerous road.

What do you do if you think your friends are keeping something from you?:

If you believe that your friends have been keeping something from you, the best decision in most cases would be to confront them about the situation. Letting it fly under the radar could hurt you in the long run and it could definitely be more beneficial to find out what is going on instead of ignoring the situation completely. If your friend is keeping something crucial from you,  distance yourself from that friendship for awhile. Make sure to take time for yourself and think things over. It isn’t being selfish to do what is best for yourself in this type of situation, surround yourself with positive thoughts and influences.